I am a human being. I am just as flawed as the next person. I am not perfect, and never tried to be. I am no better than the next person. I am just as afraid of the world and it's mystery as everyone esle.
But, why is it when I tell people of my dreams - yes, I want to be a story teller, and I want to write movie scripts and game scripts, and I want to world known - that they don't give me the look of disabelief?
Why don't my family look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them what I want to achieve?
Why do they look at me like I have what it takes to do all that I've dreamed?
And why does this feel worse than what it would have felt if they said that I was dreaming and reality would be around the corner?
Why do I wish that they put me down instead of agreeing me?
Well, it's because it is so much easier to prove someone wrong by doing nothing you planned then to fail at a dream that they believed you could achieve.
Nothing in life is promised. I am a good writer and a story teller, but it is so easy for things to go wrong, or my novels to never gain the steam that I need to achieve what I want. It is so easy to be passed over. It so easy to remain unknown.
Why must dreams be so hard?
Why must they be so scary?
Why must the years pass so quickly?
Why can't the world just stop for one single moment, so I can look at the world as it is, as it is right now. I'm twenty-five, and people will tell me that I have my whole life in front of me.
But, I'm twenty-five now, chasing a dream. It is so easy to still be chasing that dream when I fifty, and I won't get those understanding pats on the back that says I have my entire life in front of me.
Instead, I will get that shake of the head, and someone may say it may be time to give up.
The latter scenerio scares me more then if someone told me my last breath I will breathe is five minutes from now.
KaNeshia Michelle
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Novel writing vs. Script Writing
What I have here is script writing and novel writing. The same story, virtually the same dialogue, but this is to show how different they are.
I am a script writer, have wanted to be for over ten years, but before you sell an idea for hundred of thousands, it helps to build a name as a story teller. This is why I moved over to novel writing. You should think of learning different paths too.
INT. HOTEL LOBBY - DAY
The automated door GRINDS back and JOHN DOE rushes through the thick lobby with his cell phone in his ear.
JOHN
(on the phone)
No. I heard you the first time.
(pause)
This promotion is everything. My wife just maxed out
our account. There is no going back if I don't make more.
John notices a BLONDE RECEPTIONIST blinking furiously with a sexy, inticing smile.
John freezes, a dreamy smile over his face. His hands stuffs his phone in his pocket as the Blonde Receptionist blows a kiss. GULP!
Through John's pants pocket, the fabric glows as phone begins its SHRILL RING.
JOHN
(answering)
Yes... I mean, no, sorry about that. Something
came up.
John glances back at Blonde Receptionist, but she's busy making google eyes at another man.
Defeated, John trudges his way to the elavator as piles of people file out. He's bumped and shoved out of the way.
ON JOHN'S pitiful, sad face as the door slides closed.
Okay, now let's try the novel writing way.
John Doe has had a terrible day. He waits, his phone to his ear, as the door automated grind open for him. Harry is on the phone, screaming, demanding things of him that he just can't give, but John knows he has to plead his case of how desperate he is.
"No," said John, "I heard you the first time."
"Oh, I thought I would have to spell it out for you, Doe!"
John and Harry aren't friends, but John is forced to play the winkling.
"The promotion is everything. My wife has maxed out our account." John bites his lip as he sees a beautiful, knock out blonde woman smiling at him from the reception desk. "There is no going back if I don't make more."
The blonde hasn't looked away yet and John can't help the tightening in his chest. Harry is screaming at him, belittling him, but he's shut it out. He's barely aware of himself ending the call and shoving the phone back in his pocket. He knows he's going to cross the lobby and try to ask for her number. Yes, sure, he's married but he doesn't think that he would be cheating by getting another woman - other than his wife - to smile at him.
There's nothing wrong with taking chances, or, more or less, seeing if you're still a catch at age forty-two.
The phone vibrates in his pocket again, and John knows that he's just hung up on the only person who maybe swing the promotion in his favor.
He tests another smile at the blonde before putting the phone back to his ear.
Before he can even open his mouth, Harry hits him with, "I'm going on Mark, with this."
John's heart is in his throat. He glances at the blonde and she's no longer making eye contact. Well, at least not with him. Twice, in the matter of moments, he has been passed over. Trudgingly, and trying not to cry, he smashes the button on the elevator, and can barely stay on his feet as he is shoved and pushed as a pile of folks rush out from the elevator.
"John, you're smart but I need a ball buster," Harry is saying.
John feels the first start up of tears as the door grind closed.
Novel Writing and Script writing is so much different. You have to think in a different way - see the story in a different way.
All authors should learn a different form of telling a story. It will benefit you and push you.
I am a script writer, have wanted to be for over ten years, but before you sell an idea for hundred of thousands, it helps to build a name as a story teller. This is why I moved over to novel writing. You should think of learning different paths too.
INT. HOTEL LOBBY - DAY
The automated door GRINDS back and JOHN DOE rushes through the thick lobby with his cell phone in his ear.
JOHN
(on the phone)
No. I heard you the first time.
(pause)
This promotion is everything. My wife just maxed out
our account. There is no going back if I don't make more.
John notices a BLONDE RECEPTIONIST blinking furiously with a sexy, inticing smile.
John freezes, a dreamy smile over his face. His hands stuffs his phone in his pocket as the Blonde Receptionist blows a kiss. GULP!
Through John's pants pocket, the fabric glows as phone begins its SHRILL RING.
JOHN
(answering)
Yes... I mean, no, sorry about that. Something
came up.
John glances back at Blonde Receptionist, but she's busy making google eyes at another man.
Defeated, John trudges his way to the elavator as piles of people file out. He's bumped and shoved out of the way.
ON JOHN'S pitiful, sad face as the door slides closed.
Okay, now let's try the novel writing way.
John Doe has had a terrible day. He waits, his phone to his ear, as the door automated grind open for him. Harry is on the phone, screaming, demanding things of him that he just can't give, but John knows he has to plead his case of how desperate he is.
"No," said John, "I heard you the first time."
"Oh, I thought I would have to spell it out for you, Doe!"
John and Harry aren't friends, but John is forced to play the winkling.
"The promotion is everything. My wife has maxed out our account." John bites his lip as he sees a beautiful, knock out blonde woman smiling at him from the reception desk. "There is no going back if I don't make more."
The blonde hasn't looked away yet and John can't help the tightening in his chest. Harry is screaming at him, belittling him, but he's shut it out. He's barely aware of himself ending the call and shoving the phone back in his pocket. He knows he's going to cross the lobby and try to ask for her number. Yes, sure, he's married but he doesn't think that he would be cheating by getting another woman - other than his wife - to smile at him.
There's nothing wrong with taking chances, or, more or less, seeing if you're still a catch at age forty-two.
The phone vibrates in his pocket again, and John knows that he's just hung up on the only person who maybe swing the promotion in his favor.
He tests another smile at the blonde before putting the phone back to his ear.
Before he can even open his mouth, Harry hits him with, "I'm going on Mark, with this."
John's heart is in his throat. He glances at the blonde and she's no longer making eye contact. Well, at least not with him. Twice, in the matter of moments, he has been passed over. Trudgingly, and trying not to cry, he smashes the button on the elevator, and can barely stay on his feet as he is shoved and pushed as a pile of folks rush out from the elevator.
"John, you're smart but I need a ball buster," Harry is saying.
John feels the first start up of tears as the door grind closed.
Novel Writing and Script writing is so much different. You have to think in a different way - see the story in a different way.
All authors should learn a different form of telling a story. It will benefit you and push you.
Monday, November 19, 2012
The truth to ourselves...
Today, I really ask the question: will one day my ambition kill me?
These last few weeks have been such a trek - still not over - and I have felt so alive, complete and grounded as I pushed myself to finish these two novels, but in the same instance I feel more drained and withdrawn than I've ever felt.
I believe a true story teller has to become apart of their work, but to do that comes with a cost.
My characters are haunting me like ghost from spirits that I've wronged. When I'm writing, I feel their emotions, and since I like to get deep in my stories and push my characters, I've been going through the ringer right along with them.
Like I stated, I truly believe that this what it requires to really get into you story and make it the best it can be. If you don't feel it, if you're not in it when you're creating the words, then how can you expect for someone - a reader - to feel the same? How do you expect for your readers to become apart of you story if you're not in it?
The answer is that they won't fall into it like you would want them.
There is a difference between a reader liking what you've wrote and loving what you wrote. And in order for someone to love what you wrote then you have to put your soul into your words. You have to give it everything you got. If this is your passion, if writing is your dreams then you have give passion into your passion.
That's the way the world works, that's how it operates. You get what you pay for and you get out of what you put into it.
These last few weeks have been such a trek - still not over - and I have felt so alive, complete and grounded as I pushed myself to finish these two novels, but in the same instance I feel more drained and withdrawn than I've ever felt.
I believe a true story teller has to become apart of their work, but to do that comes with a cost.
My characters are haunting me like ghost from spirits that I've wronged. When I'm writing, I feel their emotions, and since I like to get deep in my stories and push my characters, I've been going through the ringer right along with them.
Like I stated, I truly believe that this what it requires to really get into you story and make it the best it can be. If you don't feel it, if you're not in it when you're creating the words, then how can you expect for someone - a reader - to feel the same? How do you expect for your readers to become apart of you story if you're not in it?
The answer is that they won't fall into it like you would want them.
There is a difference between a reader liking what you've wrote and loving what you wrote. And in order for someone to love what you wrote then you have to put your soul into your words. You have to give it everything you got. If this is your passion, if writing is your dreams then you have give passion into your passion.
That's the way the world works, that's how it operates. You get what you pay for and you get out of what you put into it.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
The troubles of falling so deep into your work
One novel finally handed over to my editor. Another is still in mid swing of it's first re-write.
Of course, as a writer, story teller, you should be happy that your work is slowly growing, but what does this work do to you?
I cannot sleep. Correction, I am sleeping but I'm not resting. My mind is not turning off. I have fallen heavy back into gaming and reading, just to settle my mind and allow myself some distance from my story, but still the work is taking it's toll.
What does this tell us?
That words are extremely powerful. That we, as writers, fall so hard into our work that it becomes increasingly hard to detach yourself. Of course, there are excersises to help with this: gaming and reading or listening to music, but it doesn't always work.
I can easily say that I'm tired. There are rings under my eyes now and I feel like I'm dead on my feet in my day job. I wouldn't trade any of it for the world, but anyone just starting this writing process should know that this is what you face.
The only times I actually feel not so tired is when I'm sitting at my computer, when I'm back in my story - only there do I feel like I'm on to something, or like I just had a jug of red bull.
Of course, as a writer, story teller, you should be happy that your work is slowly growing, but what does this work do to you?
I cannot sleep. Correction, I am sleeping but I'm not resting. My mind is not turning off. I have fallen heavy back into gaming and reading, just to settle my mind and allow myself some distance from my story, but still the work is taking it's toll.
What does this tell us?
That words are extremely powerful. That we, as writers, fall so hard into our work that it becomes increasingly hard to detach yourself. Of course, there are excersises to help with this: gaming and reading or listening to music, but it doesn't always work.
I can easily say that I'm tired. There are rings under my eyes now and I feel like I'm dead on my feet in my day job. I wouldn't trade any of it for the world, but anyone just starting this writing process should know that this is what you face.
The only times I actually feel not so tired is when I'm sitting at my computer, when I'm back in my story - only there do I feel like I'm on to something, or like I just had a jug of red bull.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Writing up a storm, now losing steam on the re write
Yes, I have talked about them, plugged them on my later blog posts.
I am currently done with my two newest novels: Rogue and the Playmate and I'm working on the final re writes.
Yet, there's a problem. I've been around the story so much, from beginning to end, backwards and forward over and over again and now I'm just tired of putting in those finer details. I have approached these novels in the text book way - I two a two week breakup, and after the break up, I have started working on the novels once more, but my work ethic is shot.
I miss the writing process so much right now. I miss typing and delving in the story, but re writing and reading over what you done is a different creative process.
So, when you're a writer, a story teller, and you've just about had it with a particular book, what do you do to hit the finish line when you start to slow down?
I've succumbed to these exercises: reading over books, listening to music, clearing my head before I write.
You have to keep a clear head, you have to gain patience with your work. Your work is like your child and it needs the nurishment. Sure, the child is more like a teenager that's a hop and skip away from graduating and getting out of your house, but those final stages of your works need the most tending to.
I don't like it, but I know what it felt like to not be writing. I will pick being frustrated with my almost finished work then being frustrated with myself because I have no works in the process of being done.
I am currently done with my two newest novels: Rogue and the Playmate and I'm working on the final re writes.
Yet, there's a problem. I've been around the story so much, from beginning to end, backwards and forward over and over again and now I'm just tired of putting in those finer details. I have approached these novels in the text book way - I two a two week breakup, and after the break up, I have started working on the novels once more, but my work ethic is shot.
I miss the writing process so much right now. I miss typing and delving in the story, but re writing and reading over what you done is a different creative process.
So, when you're a writer, a story teller, and you've just about had it with a particular book, what do you do to hit the finish line when you start to slow down?
I've succumbed to these exercises: reading over books, listening to music, clearing my head before I write.
You have to keep a clear head, you have to gain patience with your work. Your work is like your child and it needs the nurishment. Sure, the child is more like a teenager that's a hop and skip away from graduating and getting out of your house, but those final stages of your works need the most tending to.
I don't like it, but I know what it felt like to not be writing. I will pick being frustrated with my almost finished work then being frustrated with myself because I have no works in the process of being done.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Social Media Vs. A Self Published Author
Facebook
Twitter
Goodreads
Blogger
These are just a few - mind, the biggest that I've seen so far - that a self published author needs to conquer in order to get their name out, and people reading their books.
Just four little websites, four little pathways, to get out there, but they aren't little. These engines are huge. You have to meet people, talk to them, plug your work and get more people coming in than you are putting yourself out there.
Social Media can be terrifying to someone who just want to write a good story and hand it off, and everyone line up and read it. No, not in today's time. In today's time you have to be just as talented in the Social Media circus as you are on paper with a great story.
Reality is a bitter pill. The pill that I'm going to shove in your palm with this post is that eventhough you are the best at being a writer, if you can't master Social Media than it means nothing. It's a tough spill, but it's the odds. I don't even want to do the 2012 numbers on just how many people have thrust themselves out there and became self pubished authors. Half the time, these authors aren't worth much on paper, and, yes, it sounds bad to say this but it's true.
You have hundred of musicians. Or, let's be a little more specific, rappers. There are some rappers out there who will never get the big break because they didn't know how to get out there, and there are someone who get out there, make it and they aren't as half as good as the one who didn't.
Success is never truly all about talent. It takes some luck, some getting out there, getting your project to the right folks.
I do encourage doing the work, and busting your tail to know you're stuff. You have to push yourself to be the best writer you can be. Learn the ropes, build that foundation because if your turn comes for you to get out there, you want to be ready.
Social Media is a beast, but it's a fight that you have to go into if you want your work out there in the world.
Think about that.
Goodreads
Blogger
These are just a few - mind, the biggest that I've seen so far - that a self published author needs to conquer in order to get their name out, and people reading their books.
Just four little websites, four little pathways, to get out there, but they aren't little. These engines are huge. You have to meet people, talk to them, plug your work and get more people coming in than you are putting yourself out there.
Social Media can be terrifying to someone who just want to write a good story and hand it off, and everyone line up and read it. No, not in today's time. In today's time you have to be just as talented in the Social Media circus as you are on paper with a great story.
Reality is a bitter pill. The pill that I'm going to shove in your palm with this post is that eventhough you are the best at being a writer, if you can't master Social Media than it means nothing. It's a tough spill, but it's the odds. I don't even want to do the 2012 numbers on just how many people have thrust themselves out there and became self pubished authors. Half the time, these authors aren't worth much on paper, and, yes, it sounds bad to say this but it's true.
You have hundred of musicians. Or, let's be a little more specific, rappers. There are some rappers out there who will never get the big break because they didn't know how to get out there, and there are someone who get out there, make it and they aren't as half as good as the one who didn't.
Success is never truly all about talent. It takes some luck, some getting out there, getting your project to the right folks.
I do encourage doing the work, and busting your tail to know you're stuff. You have to push yourself to be the best writer you can be. Learn the ropes, build that foundation because if your turn comes for you to get out there, you want to be ready.
Social Media is a beast, but it's a fight that you have to go into if you want your work out there in the world.
Think about that.
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